Thank you for reminding me.

I recently returned from two weeks visiting 6 countries Europe. I caught up with friends and family and enjoyed the sites, food, shopping, more food, and of course the men. 

In Switzerland I had fondue for the first time (it was amazing), went snowboarding (also amazing) and learned more about watches than I care to know. In London I visited the Coco de Mer and Honey Birdette stores in person for the first time ever. Though I see the end of my time as Candice approaching, gorgeous lingerie is priceless and will hold value for me through my young adulthood. I bought several sets as well as snakeskin, leather and gold restraints which seem to delicate to use during actual play but they were beautiful.

These experiences contrast my current reality. Bed at 9 or 10, waking up at 5. Bullet coffee and exercise, maybe retrieve last nights' laundry from the laundry room if I have time. I walk half a mile to a tall building and arrive too early. Stare at the computer for 5 or 6 hours making sure not to miss anything. Try not to get distracted thinking about hotel suite threesomes.

After work I will go home, exercise and study. Maybe meet friends for dinner and try not to envy their steaks and sides as I eat chicken over a salad or with steamed vegetables. If I'm feeling indulgent I'll watch an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm even though I've seen all the episodes.

Seemingly two seconds ago I was a VIP, spoiled by new and exciting experiences. Now I am just another kid my age, struggling to get off the couch and go to Whole Foods. I feel boring and wonder if it's my personality. I would do anything to be somewhere else, to taste a proper espresso, to see posh trend-setters smoking cigarettes in a circle. 

A dinner date in Boston goes extremely well. I wear a long sleeved black dress and conservative heels. My ass looks even better than usual from the weightlifting I've been doing. Without divulging too many details, en suite there is a whip, handcuffs and a ballgag which was necessary by the time we put it on. I leave the hotel at midnight with a smile on my face and an obvious afterglow.

Once home I receive the sweetest thank you email, the gentleman explaining that I was "the best evening of his life" and "a reason to return to Boston". Perhaps, I think, I am not so boring after all. These small thank you notes and the gratefulness of the men and women I meet means more than you may think.

Thank you for reminding me how I make you feel. How I arouse senses you had forgotten about.

Tomorrow I will wear my red latex under my clothing, a naughty reminder of many exciting evenings to come during my time as Candice.

-C

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